Hoarder.

My husband called me a hoarder the other day. Not so much like the TLC show, but pretty close. I happened to be at a toy store that was going out of business and stocked up on gifts for every child's birthday party I know we are most likely attending for the year. Everything was 60% off! How could I refuse?! And now I'm set. 70% of our son's Christmas presents are now bought and stored! I even have gifts to mail back home for my nieces! He sees hoarding, I see smart. But, as far as calories are concerned, he may be right.
I can do great all morning. I eat a good breakfast. Today was Greek Yogurt with strawberries at the bottom for 120 calories and a 1/4 cup of Bare Naked maple granola for 130. Then I can wait happily for lunch, or have a small mid morning snack (apple slices). Today I had a PB2 sandwich with apples and a plum. All great, right? And then as soon as lunch is over I want SNACKS! All afternoon, from the minute I finish lunch until the minute I eat dinner I just want snacks. Today I've had carrots and hummus and low cal kettle corn (Jolly Time is my fav!) and a Fiber One bar. Still not enough! According to my Dr., I still have several hundred calories for the day, but I am choosing to go way under. That is so dumb. I feel hungry, and then feel immediately guilty for eating the calories I was TOLD to eat! I just think "You could have done without that. You know you have a weigh in tomorrow, and you could have been that much closer." This is not healthy behavior! Instead I will wait until about 8 o'clock tonight and squeeze in a couple hundred calories before bed. Again, dumb. I just have this intense image of me sitting at the table crying and eating a bowl of steamed broccoli for dinner, because I didn't ration my calories out for the day good enough. Which is also dumb, because I write all of my calories down for my three main meals the day before so I KNOW I'm going to have a solid breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Still, I can not make myself get over the guilt of eating during daylight hours, and the fear of starving through the night to make the scale be more friendly.
Will it pay off at tomorrow's weigh in? I'm not sure. I'll just go sit in front of the pantry and torture myself while I think about that question.