Geez

I'm such a good blogger... Negative. I'm the worst. I'm still struggling with the exact same problems I was facing a month ago! I am at 47 lbs down, which is the exact same as last week. I really am not complaining  about that though, because I have literally seen the scale go up 8 lbs this week, and then, thankfully, inch back down. It's been a long week. There is so much going on around here and I have eased up on the whole diet thing tremendously! If I haven't been forcing the family to go on a walk with me after dinner this week I would probably be up by quite a bit this week. I have let my measuring cups collect dust, and I hate that. Those little guys are such a big part of my success so far, and I hate ignoring them when I know that they work!
 I have a goal of 50 by next week. It's ambitious, but I can do it. I KNOW I can. I still have enough meat on these bones to lose 3 lbs in one week. It just means pushing myself, not eating crap, and breaking out a dust rag for those cups.

Bum Knee & New Goals

 I had to go to the Dr. today for him to take 5 minutes, examine my knee, and tell me to wear a brace when I work out. Man I'm an easy patient :) He was waaay more impressed with the number on the scale than anything else! It's really good to hear him be so excited for me, because I need a boost lately. I've been seriously allowing myself to slide, and it's not lookin' pretty. I've lost 44 lbs in 21 weeks, which is GREAT! but when you start to lose momentum and see .2 losses (or worse, gains!) it makes no difference how much I've lost or how quickly, and relatively easy it's come off.
 So I need a goal. I've thought a lot about it. I really wanted to be down 50 by our 8 year anniversary (this weekend) and that ain't happening. BUT I definitely can be before my mom gets here on the 16th! 6 lbs in 2.5 weeks is doable for me. It's important to me. It's a number I haven't seen in over 5 years. GEEZ!! It means getting back to tracking. It means throwing away all the crappy food I've let slip through the door this month. It means controlling myself and pushing a little bit more. Maybe I'll start daily weighing again. That really kept me honest. Maybe I'll lose my mind and start saying numbers on here. That would make me cry...

Such a Bad Blogger.

 I think about this blog a lot, but right now there just isn't a lot to say. I'm stalling out ON MY OWN. I'm doing it to myself, this much I know. For two weeks I've had the hardest time reigning it in or moving more, and it is sheer laziness on my part. I am 6.2 lbs away from 50. FIFTY. 5-0. Why on earth would I be sabotaging my efforts right now?! I haven't measured in about three weeks either. I confessed all of this to the husband last night and told him "Tomorrow (because we were going to start June 1st) we are waking up and doing this 100 workout I found on Pinterest." True to form, he was dragging my butt out of bed at 6:57 this morning to get outside and get moving. It really was a great way to start the morning. We'll see how June progresses, and what happens to me, even if it's just sweating to pieces!

Real Weight and Cinnamon Toast Crunch

 Whew! I said yesterday had to be attributed to those (amazing, delicious, I fully plan on bringing a 20 with me to the next game and eating four of them by myself) darn bacon on a sticks. I'm happy to say I was right this time! Okay, I like saying I was right all the time. It's my one flaw :) This morning I was blown away on the scale. I since last week I have lost 2.4 for a total of 43.8! Hallelujah! I want to cry and eat bacon on a stick to celebrate!!
 In reality though, I did get myself a little treat. I typically eat egg white omlettes for breakfast, and when it was super cold I would have oatmeal. I'm kind of over both of those things so while I was at Target last night I picked up a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's a little strange that I make my 4 year old choke down healthier cereal while I wipe sugary goodness off my face, but those are the perks of being the boss. I haven't had CTC in a long time. They're still yummy and I feel full for 300 calories (with skim milk).
 The cravings lately are kind of a mood killer for me. I try to make myself wait 2-3 days for the craving to pass or just die down enough if I think I can eat something without bingeing. Like chocolate. 44lbs ago I would eat a giant (for real, the biggest bar the stores carry) Hershey's with almond bars by my lonesome in one sitting, with no real thought to it. And yes, there are times when I do sort of miss eating with reckless abandon, but it's not worth it anymore! About a week ago I was ready to go to the mattresses for a hit. While torturing myself in the yogurt/candy (not a joke. That's how it's set up!) aisle I picked up a fun size pack of Hershey bars and happily saw that I could have 3 of those little beauties for something like 250 calories. Hot dang! I took them home, had my three, and then my husband ate all the rest. Jerk. I digress, after the three my craving was squished and I didn't feel the urge to kill anymore. Sounds great right? Yes, except there are cravings and then there are CRAVINGS. If you thought I was willing to take someone out over a chocolate bar, you have no idea what I would do to them for a giant bag of chips. I have wanted Salt and Vinegar chips for about 1.5 weeks now so badly I'm currently drooling on my keyboard a little. The skies opened up for me last night while in the chip aisle at Target. Market Pantry (Target brand for those of you not in the know, or not such a cheap-o shopper you can tell the store brand names of every store in a 50 mile radius) is now selling their Salt and Vinegar chips in fun packs!! There are 7 (I ate one last night) little chip bags for my lunches this week just waiting in the kitchen. Oh happy day! Now lets see how long they last :)

Tuesday Scale Tip

So I'm not thrilled with today. I know for a fact it is not "real" weight gain, but I'm up .6. And it is completely my fault. I had about 20 jalapenos halves stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon (oh. my. goodness.) on Saturday and then last night I had what is called Bacon on a Stick at the ball park. Holy Hannah it was good. I LOVE bacon so really the last 72 hours have been a win, but not so much for the waist line. All of the salt in bacon has me bloating up like a water balloon! I took it easier today and am planning on soups tomorrow and lots of water to flush it all out.
 In the grand scheme of things, it seems silly to be upset about .6 when I'm down 41! But to be honest, every time I see a gain of any sort more than two days in a row I start to think "Oh no. Is this the moment it all starts piling back on? Can I turn this around, or do I even want to?" That really only makes sense to a crazy person (me), but when I hit 30 lbs down I struggled too. It's like I hit a milestone and think I'm done. I am SO not done! Girlfriend has a waaays to go. My goal for this week is to be down 3 next Tuesday. It is so possible. I can do this. As much fun as it sounds to eat back 40 lbs in bacon, it is not worth having to start all over! I can do this!

Whoops.

I missed Tuesday's Scale Tip! And it was GREAT! As of this morning I am 42lbs down and loving every single second of it. I ordered a coat (my first coat purchased for warmth in 5 years, and my first ever 'grown up' coat) from Kohl's, my home away from home, in a medium HOPING it would not look like I stuffed myself into it next Fall/Winter. For the past 3 years we have gone to New York for Thanksgiving and each year I walk around in a hoodie or a thin trench coat. Neither are warm enough to stand up to NY cold, but if it fits, you wear it. Not this year friends. This year I'll be razzle-dazzling the crowd in a beautiful wool coat. How do I know this? Because it fits me now! Right this minute that beautiful medium coat buttons and cinches perfectly!! I may even have to have it taken in for our annual pilgrimage. I can't tell you how good it feels to have it on. I can't tell you how cute I feel in it! But I can tell you how excited I am to know I'm finally going to be warm.

Must Stop...

Eating like I'm still on vacation!! I really think I did pretty well in Texas, but I did loosen the reigns a bit. Now it's time to pull them back in and I'm having trouble with it. On Saturday we had couples date night at our house, where 4 couples get together for dinner and a movie or game. This month's theme was Home Town Favorites, so we all had to dress like the stereotypical person from our hood, and bring a dish that represents it. Um, YUM! I made steak and corn out on the grill (Hello, Texas!) and boiled baby gold potatoes. So good! Then I made jalapeno poppers and crosintini with cheese spread AND chips and salsa. Holy. Moly. I ate and ate and ate. Then for dinner last night I took the left over steak and corn and made asparagus and salad. Not terrible, right? Except that I washed that down with a big ol' margarita and three mini Twix. I forgot how much I LOVE Twix. It's a ridiculous amount.
Long story short, I have GOT to get back on the wagon before I get run over by it.